Ice Bullies

I've posted about ice etiquette before, but it's something skaters deal with continually, and I've been meaning to talk about it again. It's a hard subject to stay positive about, is often controversial and sometimes you just need to rant.

Lately, there has been a lot of talk in the adult skating community about mistreatment on skating sessions. While adult skating has blossomed in recent years, adults seeking to skate still face discrimination at local rinks. The reality is that adults are more often than not on the lower end of the skill spectrum, and many are just beginners. Often as a result, the younger, higher level skaters populating the sessions have lowered patience for adults on the ice--and by extension, so do their coaches, parents and club/rink managers. There are simply not enough adult skaters in any given community to support an all-adult session (some are lucky in this, I am not), and the younger skaters are the moneymakers, so adults get no priority. Some folks in the adult community have complained of being unfairly barred from sessions, some have complained of abuse by young skaters and their parents, and some have actually been injured on sessions by aggressive skaters.

The whole thing leaves a bad taste in my mouth, for two reasons. The first is that I was once one of those haughty little girls who had little patience or respect for the adult skaters with whom I shared the ice. It seemed like they were always. in. my. way. But I certainly never victimized anyone. I did huff and puff and silently curse during moments of frustration, but I think I knew better than to take it further than that. I think under the momentary frustration I must have realized that just because you can do double axels and triples doesn't mean you have any greater right on the ice than someone who is trying to master a waltz jump or a scratch spin. We all pay the same fee to get on the ice. I certainly fully understand that now and regret I even had private thoughts disparaging other skaters, adult or otherwise.

The second reason is that it brings the skating experience to a negative place. Skating is not fun when you're already unsure of your footing as a beginner, and also constantly in fear of getting run over by a little ice queen. And there is no help for it. You can't yell at a young kid for being a bitch on the ice without inciting the wrath of a parent or coach. You end up being the bad guy for standing up for yourself. Some adult skaters have admitted that they were threatened by crazy parents for daring to tell their kid to take it easy on the ice before she hurt another skater. If my kid ever acted like some of the jerks at the rink I skate at, I would pull her off the ice immediately and apologize to the person she offended.

Which leads me to the infuriating experience I endured at a practice session this week. I am not a typical adult skater. I am high level, and I am aggressive on the ice--not bitchy aggressive, but I will look you in the eye and be vocal if necessary to avoid incident when I have the right of way, and I am not afraid of self-righteous little girls (hello, I have a two-year-old). I also have never felt mistreated by a rink or club. Nonetheless, I find myself constantly frustrated by the vibe at one of my home rinks. I share the ice with a few highly aggressive girls with terrible attitudes that pretty much terrorize other skaters (they've been complained about by some, to no avail). I had interactions yesterday with two of them, one of whom dangerously cut me off (could have gotten a blade to the face if I hadn't relented), and the other of whom scoffed at me when I accidentally got in her way. Both of these incidents occurred while I was in a lesson and they were not. In the heat of the moment, all I could do to assert my right was to look them both straight in the eye with a very mom-like "seriously, did you just act like that?" Both stayed the heck away from me afterward, so I think it had some effect.

Like many things in life, it all seemed very animalistic. Like one ape or wolf asserting its dominance over another, beating its chest and growling. I'm sorry it has to be that way. I'd like to coexist peacefully, but constantly find myself needing to take a stand to defend my right to be on the ice that I paid for. And then sometimes you have to remember that they're children with a lot to learn who probably have emotionally abusive parents, and you just have to let it go.

So the question becomes for other adult skaters, how do you defend your right to be on the ice? Well, I'm still trying to figure that one out...In the meantime, I wish all my fellow adult skaters the best in dealing with these egregious breaches of ice etiquette.